I used to know her, she lived so close to me, she walks around with dropping shoulders, head bow and a vacant stare in her eyes. If you speak too loud you would startle her, if you smile too brightly you would frighten her. Give her a wink and she’d say you are mocking her, a compliment and she’d call you a liar. In her own eyes she is worth nothing, make an attempt to redefine her worth and she’d call it flattery. They have said she is no good and she believes it. Slowly she fades away, till the little light in her is completely gone. the years role by, she grows but remains a child within, she stayed small judging everything that glimmers hope, she sees life through mirrors of broken dreams. We grew up and i moved on, I freed myself from her clinging claws…oh, it was a battle but we stopped being friends. But my old friend, Poor self esteem refuse to change, she made new friends and sucks on them like tick on a dog.
Let me tell you a bit more about PSE, yes, we call her that for short. Poor Self Esteem grew up knowing she was different, she fails and flounders at tasks and often gets neglected. Others were chosen in competitions while she was pushed back, her sister got candies, she got head knocks. Nobody told her why, nobody explained that her being different is her uniqueness. Her peers taunted her calling her ‘lone ranger’, if only they knew how much she longed to belong. But no one asked, no one explained, PSE concluded; she is not worth their time.
High school was a battle for PSE, she tried hard at school work and gets good grades sometimes, but she gets no praise but questions raised; why are you not the best in your class? You could have done better snaps her father! Do other kids have two heads? Young PSE didn’t know how to meet people’s expectations. The pressure often makes her withdraw into herself, she preferred her own company and the whispers fueled her thoughts; she is simply worth no dime.
I remember the first time someone told her she was beautiful, poor self esteem crawled to the farthest corner of her self-imposed walls, wept her heart out as she stare into a mirror saying ‘how can someone call you beautiful, you are too tall, too skinny and your nose is big, your clothes don’t fit and the gaps in your teeth are too wide, no, they are making fun of you! PSE just couldn’t take a compliment. She seeks ways to mold herself into someone else, negative talks, depressions and unfounded fears are her ways, she does not know the joy of being in sync with one’s self, her self confidence is a sham!
As an adult her hobbies involve looking for love in the wrong places. Her emotions often overwhelm her, She feels undeserving of anything good and sometimes sabotages her chances at true love, oh, she is a lot of work for her partner, Poor self esteem stresses her lover for she has not learnt to love herself first. she has no respect for the image in the mirror, Who would teach her of a love sublime?
Remember i told you she clings to people; she rides on their back for years and defines herself through them. Please do a check and empty your house of her, lest you go her way and she pulls you down with her. Did i tell you she is an enemy of progress and a killer of dreams? Hmm… She would clip your wings and dim your star if allowed, no, you can’t shine with her in your life.
So with head held high and sparkles in your eyes, brace up today and free yourself from PSE, stop believing her lies, no, you are worth so much more than she says! In his book Cure for the Common Life, Max Lucado says, “Da Vinci painted one Mona Lisa. Beethoven composed one Fifth Symphony. And God made one version of you, He custom designed you… pause, and just imagine that! You are a masterpiece; no one else can be YOU. You are beautifully and wonderfully made, so ditch Poor self esteem and arise to be the ‘you’ the world has been waiting for, be the best of you. Mirror, Mirror on the wall…it’s time to unveil the masterpiece within.